Conquering Impostor Syndrome
Two years ago I documented my struggles with Imposter Syndrome and the response was immense. I received messages of support and commiseration from new web developers, veteran engineers, and even persons of all experience levels in other professions. I've even caught myself reading the post many times with the hopes that I would just snap out of it. The truth is that most of us will never be free of self-doubt...
...but if I'm completely honest, I don't ever want to be free of Imposter Syndrome. A bit of humility, intimidation, and fear is a healthy feeling to keep us hungry and prevent complacency. Imposter Syndrome, however, can be paralyzing and can lead to feelings of depression and lack of motivation. The good news is that I have some tips to share with you that have helped me keep these negative feelings in check!
It's All About Momentum
When I take a step back and think about the little things I do to stave off Imposter Syndrome, they're essentially small contributions to build momentum, helping me accomplish the medium to large goal I'm tasked with. I liken it to basketball: I love shooting three-pointers, but when they aren't going in, I need to make a few layups and hit a few free-throws to work up confidence because there's nothing like hearing the sound of the ball hitting the net. These tiny bits of validation add up, and as those positive feelings keep coming, I suddenly find myself with an air of confidence that pushes me to take on bigger things. So how does that strategy apply to my every day work? Let's have a look!
"Little wins" are by far the most effective way to gain momentum. Too often we see our large tasks as a huge mountain and knowing where to start can demotivate or overload the brain, paralyzing us into doing nothing or causing us to lose interest. When we break down tasks they become more manageable, something you can chip away at. But the little wins don't even need to relate to your big tasks or even your assigned project at all -- they're all about getting something on the board somewhere.
Here are a few ways you can score little wins to jumpstart your day:
- Documentation Updates - Send a patch to update a README or other documentation. Add a few details, fix grammatical mistakes, or simply reword a sentence.
- Contribute a Tiny Fix - Not every patch needs to be a new feature. Submit a code fix even if it's tiny. Not every PR needs to change the world.
- Finish Your Code Reviews - Doing code reviews is a good way to think about how you would have completed a task without needing to complete it. Plus, getting out of your colleague's way eases on your burden of accountability.
- File Bugs - Filing a bug is a contribution. Bug filing also gets you thinking about ways a project can be improved, which may spur your mind into other ways to make the project better.
- Refactor Code - Unless the code hasn't been maintained at all, you likely only need to make a few changes, but it's a win and you should take it!
- Inbox Zero - Getting emails out of my inbox is hugely motivating and makes me feel less beholden to others. Get as close to inbox zero as possible and you'll feel more freedom to concentrate on the tasks at hand.
- Start Conversation on IRC/Slack - Talking shop is sometimes enough to give me ideas and the courage to dive into coding.
I accomplish a few small wins every morning to get myself moving. A few examples:
- Lint fix to Firefox's developer tools debugger
- Suggest new animation times for Firefox's developer tools debugger
- Prevent duel scrollbars in Firefox's developer tools debugger
- Fix a markdown parsing error
Little wins are all about doing something, anything, to gain a feeling of progress and momentum. No task is too small or beneath your title to not consider a win!
Commit to Tasks in Front of the Team
There was recently a task added to my team's Trello board that I really, really didn't want to take. It was a task to update code in a programming language I don't consider myself an expert in and it touched some pretty critical functionality. I was a bit hesitant due to lack of confidence as well as having a health dose of "ugh, I hate touching this codebase." So I did the most logical thing: put my face on it and declared in standup that it was mine.
Essentially what I did was force myself to be accountable. I could have pretended to do other things but the reality is that the task wasn't going anywhere and the sooner I completed it, the sooner it was something I didn't need to worry about. Two hours later (way less time than I thought it would take) the pull request was shipped and I could breathe a sigh of relief.
The moral of the story is that forcing accountability is an excellent way to motivate yourself. It also shows that sometimes we build things up in our head so as to paralyze ourselves; in reality the task usually isn't as painful as we've made it out to be.
Schedule Quick Meetings and Pair Program
Scheduling meetings and especially pair programming is a great way to force accountability and motivation as:
- you're pushed to be there
- you're pushed to produce
- you're able to ask questions and bounce ideas around
These gentle pushes are a great way to find motivation and positivity. Being with someone else also removes the feeling that you're on an island and everyone is waiting for you to do your part.
Contribute to Passions
Contributing to projects more inline with your passions, whether inside or outside of your organization, is a great way to feel positive and productive to start the day. The rush of coding in your comfort zone, coupled with the little wins that come out of that effort, provide a springboard into achieving work you aren't as excited or as confident to complete.
Talk to Your Manager and Colleagues: They Care!
Even the worst of managers wont put you in a position to fail; it's their ass too if the project doesn't get done properly or on time. Your manager and colleagues have faith in you to accomplish tasks and likely wont throw problems at you that they don't believe you are capable of solving. If you think a problem is beyond you, Impostor Syndrome or not, you should talk to your manager or colleagues as soon as possible. Your manager and colleagues will provide assurance that you are capable and, more importantly, will help plot out how to start solving the problem.
Remember: no teammate wants to see you fail and will be happy to help get you on the right path. If you find the rare case where teammates or even your manager aren't willing to help, it may be time to look elsewhere.
You Are Not Defined By Your Work
I said it in my original Impostor Syndrome post but I'll say it again: work is only a small part of your life. Find a way to smile! :)
Impostor Syndrome doesn't go away, and if it does, it means we've become complacent or arrogant, which is a far worse fate. Whatever your industry, role, or experience level, conquering Impostor Syndrome (if only for the day) is about little wins that build yourself up for the bigger tasks. You're smarter and more valuable than your Impostor Syndrome will let you realize -- just keep punching and chipping away until you've conquered that evil.