7 Signs I Knew I Was Born To Be a Programmer
This will probably shock you but I'm a programmer. Not a designer, not a copywriter, just a simple programmer. I've done some self analysis and realized that becoming a programmer wasn't a choice -- it was destiny. The following is my logic for why I became a programmer.
1. I'm Allergic to the Sun
I'm not as hot as Kate Beckinsale but I'm just as allergic to the sun as she was in Underworld. The second I see the sun I sneeze. What's odd is that I used to play outside endlessly as a child -- it wasn't until I became a programmer that I developed this strange allergy to the sun. Today my skin is very white -- a monitor tan is the only tan I get these days.
2. I Get Nosebleeds Often
No true nerd gets their official credentials without proof of frequent nosebleeds. Unprovoked and unexplainable, my nosebleeds just appear out of thin air...literally. These pick up quite a bit during the winter. I've broken my nose three times but no way to confirm that being a contributing factor.
3. I Have No Immune System
Most of my "vacation days" (PTO) are used up by illnesses that range from migraine headaches to pneumonia to bronchitis. I have the sniffles 365 days a year. I'll wake up with a sore throat in mid-June. My body has no desire to fight viruses. A perfect excuse to avoid manual labor and sit behind a monitor inside my condo.
4. I Have No "Real Life" Skills
You know how grown men are supposed to be able to change their oil, cook breakfast for their significant other, and do their own laundry? Yeah, not me. No joke -- I tried making eggs a few months ago, messed something up, and my kitchen smelled funky for the rest of the day. I'm a complete train wreck when not located within three feet of a computer.
5. I Have No "Social" Skills; Computer > Human
I'm not what you'd consider a "people person." I'd rather spend 20 minutes typing an email than 3 minutes on the phone. I simply don't have that gene. When coworkers say hello to me at work I usually reply with "email me." I'm charming via email, stone cold in person.
6. I Think I'm Much Smarter Than I Really Am
Like any good egotistical programmer, I feel I'm much smarter than I am. Yeah, I slang terms like "prototypal inheritance", "event delegation", and many other impressive programming terms, but can I make eggs? No. Doesn't matter. Why? Because I can slang terms to people who aren't computer savvy and help fix email problems. I think I belong in MENSA -- most other things I belong in on a seat in the corner of the room with a coloring book and non-toxic crayons.
7. Fashion == null
I cannot stand "bros" that wear $200 jeans and $50 Hollister/Abercrombie/American Eagle T-Shirts. I see a Broseph walk down the sidewalk with white shades and a fro-hawk and choke on my own vomit.....yet I have no problem with wearing one of my 5 MooTools shirts to any event. Wedding? Yes...because MooTools has Class. So simple.
I'm a complete nerd for those scoring at home. The life of a programmer as a tough one...God only knows how I can get through each day.