Codelish – A Programmer’s Life Language

By  on  

Programming can be a dull, boring job when you're doing the same thing every day. I decided to express my feelings toward work and customers today by using programming instead of the usual shaking of the head and questioning how the person even gets up in the morning. The following are a few of my thoughts today.

while($customer->talks($gibberish))
{
    $i->read($digg);
    $about = 'Not working here any more';
    $i->think($about);
}

$sanity = mysql_query('SELECT reason_to_live FROM head WHERE today = 'Monday' LIMIT 1000',$conn) or die('A slow, agonizing death.');

As your can see from the previous example, Codelish can cross over into different languages as well. It doesn't stop here though! Just like English has verbs, pronouns, and adjectives, Codelish has structure too.

class programmer
{

    var $location;
    var $status;
    var $salary;
    var $reason_to_live;

    function programmer($location,$status)
    {
         $this->location = $location;
         $this->status = $status;
         $this->salary = 'very little';
    }

    function get($var_to_return);
    {
         return $this->{$var_to_return};
    }

    function wants()
    {
         return 'Too bad! ';
    }

    function set($reason)
    {
         $this->reason_to_live = $reason;
    }

}

$overworked_programmer = new programmer('Work','Frustrated');
$response += $overworked_programmer->wants($higher_pay);
$response += $overworked_programmer->wants($appreciation);
$response += $overworked_programmer->wants($less_hours);
$response += $overworked_programmer->wants($challenge);
$response += $overworked_programmer->wants($promotion);

$threshold = 2;
if(substr_count($response,'bad') > $threshold) { $programmer->__destruct(); }

As you can see, Codelish is a great language and very true to life! I believe every programming student should be taught this language!

Recent Features

  • By
    Chris Coyier’s Favorite CodePen Demos

    David asked me if I'd be up for a guest post picking out some of my favorite Pens from CodePen. A daunting task! There are so many! I managed to pick a few though that have blown me away over the past few months. If you...

  • By
    JavaScript Promise API

    While synchronous code is easier to follow and debug, async is generally better for performance and flexibility. Why "hold up the show" when you can trigger numerous requests at once and then handle them when each is ready?  Promises are becoming a big part of the JavaScript world...

Incredible Demos

Discussion

  1. Very awesome read thanks for sharing!

  2. Edwin
    Console.WriteLine("lol, good one! Do it allot in coding, if there is no code reviews ;p ");
  3. Hehehe sanity would break immediately actually, look at the quotes…

  4. $me = new programmer(‘Work’, ‘Amused’);

Wrap your code in <pre class="{language}"></pre> tags, link to a GitHub gist, JSFiddle fiddle, or CodePen pen to embed!